Im just who I am
I am just a simple little girl in this world, a dreamer, a great pretender, a failure one. but still keep moving forward no matter what!
Saturday, November 11, 2017
Wednesday, November 1, 2017
“ Just keep moving forward ms. Valzado”
whatever I do
and Whatever it goes
The quote I often bear in mind
im just a little eighteen years old girl.Im just living in a simple life but my dreams is not as simple as what people think! my dreams is as high as mountains as vast as universe that anyone would probably answered you with a caps lock "IMPOSSIBLE" dreaming is free anyway its priceless.
I enrolled at capiz state university admittedly I failed of talking psychology nor mass communication but i know in heart and mind "teaching is a choice of nobility"
i often admire people who have gift in speaking. music and writing such poems , songs and stories are my expression of soul. and yes! I am a proud Iglesia ni cristo the one that helps me to be courageous . eating salad heals my anger ,sleeping cures my emotional pain, talking to my bestfriend gives me reason to laugh.
For now Im living with a dream that one day I will woke
up and look upon the views of high buildings, flying birds above the sky and
the perfect sunrise that shows new hope, on my window! and
face my mirror wearing my favorite uniform in the world that I have strive
to wear!
fridays
fridays
May the ground break and
swallow me down
when the day called Friday
I dont have to hate
Fridays
for it is the day of my
tragedies
for it is my torturing hours
and a day of where agonizing
heart starts
I don’t have to hate you
For often hearing the
strories of pain
The lies that paralize my
vein
And make my name be stained
Im wounded coz ur my knife
Hates me for the rest
of your life
Making me suffer all the
time
Treating the sound of my
cries as rhymes
Oh dear you are
No doubt, no love to trash
my faith
Loves to see if im on grief
Being way with you
Sounds and feels to be safe
Laugh and happiness sudenly
frost
Tears! Replaced by what is
lost
May the ground breaks and
swallow me down
torn
Torn
Under the rain
I felt my feeling in pain
Under the rain
Tears paralyzed this vein
Like what others doing
I felt the art of loving
this strangers little thing
that never stops me from falling
he is always an surprising
cares even in a small thing
funny and never been boring
he is such an admiring
it was 13th day of
September
when he confess with me with bundles
of flower
so I accept the love he have
the happiest moment I had
but that guy tought me how it was to
cry
often tell me his story of lies
the bond we have gradually dies
the heat of love might cold and dry
ohjie!
You’ve create this scars in the heart
mine
I cried in the day where rain falls
To wash this face that
Wishing all the pain will wash away
the one that get away
The one
that get away
Rejection
how much can you take? Goodbyes , how can you resist ? how can this traumatic
experience agonize you day and night that you have to endure?
In a day where I felt exploding due to my over thinking
of my requirements that torturedbrain. I felt overload so I decided to eat in
the fast food chain . I found myself in heaven “ the food calling” while eating
my dish called lasagna “ohh look whose here” I cant possibly forget this
crap I saw this devastating gawds I have
to get out of here asap! Telling myself
seeing the guy in the right corner, I know him yes ! his the one who creates scars on
me but anyways my distress is
understandable and I honestly
experience the stages of grief before I
made a perfect smile without pain ! I
considered this as “grief nako lines “ like saying this cant be over! Maybe
hell change his mind in two or three days
until days passed I denied and denied telling myself “ no! who he think he is in doing such thing to
me ? Excuse me ! and be alone in my bed quite thinking about myself “Im not that
pretty not that smart no one likes me”
but at the end I realized that if I
stuck myself thinking about it then Im killing myself softly ! all I have to bear in mind is time drives and
it will make me back like before .
Vince , the guy I’m referring before the one that gives me a strange feeling of belongness . we
talk for a long time if im on
grief hes there to comfort me! He cheers and often give me hes sense of care over a period of time our
emotional bond grew ! throughout the day vince text and calls me with
expression of endearment !
But suddenly he
just appear on my front one day so
strange and so cold and says “
just take care always goodbye” I felt
confuse then he just smirked at me! I
thought he is just going to somewhere or anywhere away from my sight. But its not he is not
just getting away from me , instead he
is leaving ! that night I have died
waiting for his text call or chat by that time there’s already an idea comes on my mind that I shouldn’t fool ! and
not giving time to those who don’t even
have the effort to give time on me!
As the days
passed by , I find my strength to ask him if
what bothering him for not giving his time and have a distance on me. “ do I smell bad this following days? Hello?” then he reply so
cold and emotionless” I’m very sorry for treating you this! Im sorry but I love someone and im almost courting here! I knew I’ve hurt you and one of those guy you’ve hated! I knew you can find there someone better! As he continued. I
was devastated I felt numb with shock I
become mentally and physically exhausted . I cant take it anymore my body absorb all the pain
around!
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Im just who I am